This is my reflection

Well, it is finally finished. Maybe some of you felt the way I did leaving class today after turning in THE MIGHTY GRANT PROPOSAL PROJECT: nauseous/relieved/disappointed/hopeful? No?
Well, at least I did and do fully believe that it is possible to feel all of those things at once.

Let's start with nauseous and disappointed, shall we? Why did I feel that way? Because I am afraid my 4.0 streak might actually be broken now. And that is a real bummer...even the possibility REALLY bums me out. I sort of felt like the train wreck story we've been hearing about all semester, you know, the one with a lady who poured her soul's blood into a proposal, but she misses the deadline for her by like one minute. She loses her job because her org's largest source of funding just went down the drain and so she goes to the grocery store and buys two dozen cupcakes, throws on some dirty sweat pants, eats them all in one sitting, then she passes out from the sugar coma. She wakes up five years later realizing she's a cat lady.

Well, I didn't do all that. But, I just had this strong sense of finality. There are some parts to my proposal that I really liked. I spent too much time on them. I feel like it has been rehearsed between my ears so much and then written so many times that I am just constituted with it. I could present it for sure.  No doubt I wrote 26 different versions of each 200 word limit paragraph. But, I know I defs could've made my project better. I paid too much attention to the big stuff and not enough to the small pointless questions like: address, phone number, etc. I knew this would be my downfall too.

I know for sure that if this had been real, I would NOT be awarded money because there defs would be a better grant proposal out there. So, that's final. Like we've learned in class, you may have great writing, but if the proposal is late or does have something missing-you're out. I think I just sort of had that kind of feeling today. It sort of felt more real world than any writing project has for me so far.

Relieved and hopeful. I don't believe I need to explain the relief part because I'm sure we ALL felt that. Hopeful because though this project was challenging, though I'm not completely satisfied with my work, though my gpa may drop--I realize about myself that I don't always get things right the first time. I really do learn by trial and error. I told you in the beginning that I was a late bloomer and I meant that. I know I am up for a challenge. I am confident I've learned what I needed to learn about grant writing.  I am satisfied in knowing that though this project leaves me somewhat disappointed in the execution department, I won't shy away from grant writing. I WILL get it. I WILL. It defs won't be next week. I need a break. However, I will face this monster again and I will conquer it.

I tried a few years ago to use Mailchimp in my small business. I just could not figure it out. I found Mailchimp to be uber intimidating, so I gave up (but never REALLY gave up). So, when this semester's internship rolled around, I made it one of my goals to learn and use Mailchimp. Loving to challenge myself, I spent hours upon hours this semester learning the ins and outs. Though not an expert, I would say, I now know Mailchimp. It feels good. I don't mind being defeated initially (aside from affecting my gpa streak--that is painful) because I know that I do better on defense than offense anyway. I thrive on defense. So, if there is a hot guy named Grant Writing, let's just say I've got his number and I'll be calling. Oh. Yes. I will be calling and he will be mine. So, yeah, hopeful. ;)

And now, I must tie up a few loose ends:
Tyromancy is divination using curdled cheese. So, yes, a cheesy hobby of sorts. Just going by memory on this one because I can't find the source anymore...

What rhymes with month? A hunth or a hundred thousand as in, "I requested a hunth in my grant proposal and got none of it therefore I eat 24 cupcakes at a time."

What rhymes with silver: chilver (female lamb) and dicky dilver, a British nickname for the periwinkle flower.

Purple? Curple, hirple, and turple, even besperple.

Orange? Pretty much just botanical terms such as: sporange, hypnosporange, macrosporange, and megasporange.
Source: Where a Dobdob meets a Dikdik by Bill Casselman

I hope you all have a wonderful summer. In just one week I am flying solo to DC for 10 days of vacay where I'll be visiting a newborn and old friends and forgetting about writing altogether! WOOHOO!  I plan to ENJOY my hobby as much as possible: photography!

I recently had to dump pics onto an external hard drive to make space on my computer and seeing old pics I've taken made me so excited for vacation!
I haven't really enjoyed photography since I moved here and I'm looking forward to getting back into it. AR has great photog spots I just haven't had the chance yet to shoot!
Oh, shoot, I almost forgot to post this:

for those who have difficulty believing my fave food is butter. ;) That's my dining room table in the background, btw. ;)
And now, I must get back to this:

with Zorro, the cutest yorkie poo ever, or he will be jealous. He's considering writing a book, you know. Something like Honest Toddler, only for spoiled little doggies. ;)

Best,

Nicolle ;)